Phuying praphet song in Thai means ‘second kind of lady’ All over the world, Thailand’s ladyboys or kathoeys as they are rightly called, can be seen every day in all kinds of occupations here in Bangkok. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone works in the entertainment industry. They are completely assimilated into modern Thai society and work in shops, offices, garages and just about everywhere. Thais are very accepting of people and differences, therefore kathoeys are not only accepted, but are referred to in a strange way by Thais. Most Thai girls will have ladyboys in their circle of friends and taxi drivers are ready to point at them and say, “Ladyboy, beautiful” at every possible opportunity. In Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, they recently built a huge new comprehensive school. The toilet blocks have toilets for girls, boys and kathoeys, in a show of acceptance that it’s hard to imagine ever happening in the UK or the US. That adolescents can accept sexual and gender differences is a remarkable demonstration of the lack of prejudice in this part of Southeast Asia.
Of course, the ladyboys work in the areas of sex and entertainment, but so do the girls. It is a lifestyle choice that is open to all and does not carry the same stigma as in the West. The kathoeys who work at the go-go bars in Nana Plaza, Patpong and Soi Cowboy can be quite predatory and some men feel quite threatened by them. But the girls who work there are the same and again it’s not that they work here because they’re ladyboys, they’re just ladyboys who choose to work there. Judging all kathoeys on the basis of one predatory go-go dancer is just as crazy as judging all Thai girls because you’ve had an encounter with a go-go dancer. Ironically, it’s illegal for girls to bare their breasts in these bars, but not for kathoeys. They are still judged as men by the Thai government, and as men they cannot be prevented from revealing their breasts.
I visited the Simon Cabaret in Chiang Mai, my then girlfriend wanted to go. Thai girls love to see ladyboys and consider them more beautiful than themselves, which is a strange concept when you are sitting with a truly beautiful Thai girl. Offer to take any girl on a date to see ladyboys at a go-go bar and she’ll be happy. However, the kathoeys in Simon Cabaret are extremely beautiful, two or three were so convincing that it was almost impossible to believe. They mimed during the show, danced, and generally had fun. It was a good night and everyone came back happy. For a few baht they were happy to take photos with the audience after the show.
While some kathoeys seem happy to live their lives as a man who simply dresses as a woman, some go the extra mile to understand reality. Hormonal treatments, breast implants, butt implants, hand vein removal, Adam’s apple shaving, face lifts, botox injections, and of course, full gender alignment surgery are all on the menu. Thailand and particularly Bangkok have the best breast implant specialists on the planet. I can never understand a woman in the United States paying thousands of dollars for the average breast surgery, when she could fly here, vacation for three weeks and get the entire trip, including surgery, cheaper. The final results will also be better in Thailand.
I have no idea what makes there so many in Thailand. It is a question for which no one seems to have an answer. Maybe they’re just more accepted, so young kids have more options in their puberty years. Perhaps there is something in the diet that causes the female hormones to increase. But one thing I can’t explain is why many of them are so tall, there aren’t many tall men in Thailand, but there are many very tall kathoeys. I guess since Thais are much more beautiful looking, it’s easy to make a convincing lady if that’s your inclination. Perhaps there are so many in the West, but they are forced by convention to hide from the world.
Surely there is room for everyone in this day and age.