It’s Christmas Eve and you’re surrounded by your family admiring the decorations on the tree and enjoying a hot drink by the fireplace. He has left all the crowds at the mall behind and, wrapped in brightly colored packages, has the perfect gifts for everyone on his list. The children went to sleep without a fight, knowing that this morning would bring the discovery of what Santa had left during his annual visit. This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. Why, then, do you cast sidelong glances of disdain at the person you exchanged wedding rings with years ago? What is it about this season that makes you realize how unhappy you are in your marriage? And what will drive you to join thousands of people in just a few short weeks to do your part and make January the busiest month of the year for divorce lawyers? There are several reasons for this very real winter of marital discontent.
The arrival of the New Year always brings with it a period of self-reflection. People make promises to themselves that range from the ever-popular determination to lose weight to resolutions like quitting smoking or smiling more. Some feel that the fresh start that accompanies the countdown to midnight and the singing of “Auld Lang Syne” should include starting the year without a husband or wife. As New York attorney Sue Moss says, “It seems like everyone’s New Year’s resolution is to lose weight and lose the husband, and not in that order.” Those who have struggled in what they believe to be bad marriages, sometimes for years, make the decision that they will not start another year in the same environment.
On a more practical note, there are also financial issues to consider when determining the timing of the divorce. There are tax advantages that come from keeping the marriage until the end of the tax year. Where the old saying said, “We stay together for the kids,” many couples now say, “We stay together for the tax benefits.” In addition, there is often a great deal of financial information that must be exchanged when an estranged couple makes decisions about property division, child support, and other money-related matters. Previous year employment and tax information will begin to be available at the end of January. In relationships headed for divorce, it’s not surprising to find that one or both parties haven’t been entirely forthcoming about finances. The New Year brings evidence of investment earnings, bonuses and dividends that may have been conveniently hidden until now.
Finally, don’t underestimate the influence of vacations on a person’s mood. Spending time with extended family can remind someone of what is missing in their own marriage or create additional stress in an already fragile marital relationship. If it comes from a house that Norman Rockwell might have used as a model for one of his paintings, you may wonder why his current home life doesn’t measure up. If visits to mom and dad usually end with fists or calling the police, such tension will exacerbate personal problems. And there’s also the matter of the infamous office Christmas party. Infidelity is the number one reason for divorce at any time of the year, but the alcohol that often accompanies New Year’s Eve celebrations can increase the possibility of inappropriate behavior.
In the state of Texas, there are approximately 100,000 divorces each year and half of these separations involve children under the age of eighteen. Naturally, the people of our state are no more or less immune to the effect that the holidays can have on the marriage relationship than any other state in the union. Therefore, divorce attorneys in Austin, Dallas, Houston, and elsewhere in the Lone Star State should expect their phones to be busier and their waiting room to be more crowded once 2010 rolls around. initial divorce papers with the appropriate court, Texas law requires a sixty-day waiting period, and this time period is only possible if both parties agree to all of the terms. If there are discord issues, divorcing couples can expect the process to take a year or even longer. So it is possible that even though you start divorce proceedings in January with the intention of starting fresh with the New Year, you may still be involved in disputes with your spouse as the next holiday season approaches.
If you’re a Texas resident and find that the holidays are bringing serious marital discord to light and you need to start 2010 by taking the first steps in the divorce process, plan to contact an experienced attorney as soon as possible. Emotions often run high when a spouse files for divorce, and these feelings are intensified by the high expectations and conflicts that come with the holidays. A good attorney can guide you through difficult decisions that must be made with sensitivity and an advocate’s mindset. Don’t start a life changing year without the best possible advice and find yourself wishing you had done things differently as 2011 approaches.