What does your heart tell you during that passionate kiss? The Scriptures point out that even when we look at another person with lust (desire), we have committed adultery in our hearts. If I think about being thirsty, I will want to drink some water. And the more I think about how thirsty I am, the thirstier I will be. In the same way, if I think about feeling lonely and unhappy in my marriage, I may want to step outside the boundaries of my marriage in search of attention and happiness.
“You have heard that it was said: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ but I tell you that anyone who looks at another woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5: 27-28 NIV)
When a married man or woman even looks at another person with sexual thoughts or with thoughts of lusting after them, it is adultery of the mind. The more we think about lusting after another person and the more we look with longing thoughts, the more physical adultery is likely to occur. What is produced in our mind finally manifests itself in our actions. So, knowing this, what do you think a passionate kiss will produce?
What causes emotional infidelity is when a husband or wife does not feel that their needs are being met, something is missing in the relationship, or they do not feel loved. So what usually happens is by accident, the seemingly private spouse finds someone online who is seemingly and genuinely interested in him. Ironically, all the missing elements within that person have been discovered and fulfilled since I met this new friend online.
Sometimes these relationships are not just online, but someone you know and talk to every day, like your workplace. Soon enough, you feel so elated with all the new attention this person is giving you that you end up in a passionate, absorbing kiss. The more this other person fills you with attention, the more your mind will tell you to have sex with them.
What causes physical adultery is looking and wishing and then thinking about having sex with someone in your mind. God wants us to only desire the person we marry. If you feel like something is missing in your marriage, or you just don’t feel loved by your spouse, it means it’s time to get more intimate and bring romance back to the marriage!
When we ask God to guide us and we stop thinking and desiring someone other than the one we marry, we find that the person we marry pleases us and we realize that we no longer desire strangers. Do you see the change in thinking? That change of thoughts comes from the Power of Christ within you. This happens because of our prayer and faith that God will do what He says He will do. The more we think about doing the right thing, the more we will want our spouse! If we don’t worry about what is right or wrong, we will inevitably fall into lustful thoughts and desires.
That is why I say, live by the Spirit and you will not indulge the desires of the sinful nature. Because the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so you don’t do what you want. (Galatians 5: 16-17 NIV)
As believers, we are not alone in our sufferings; we have the words of God in our hearts and the teachings of Christ in our minds. We must ask God to keep us away from lustful thoughts so that we cannot even “think” or “desire” another person in a sexual or lustful way.
Because the grace of God that brings salvation has been manifested to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly possessions, and to live a self-controlled, righteous, and godly life in this present age. (Titus 2:11 -12 NIV)
Where can a passionate kiss lead? It can lead to disrespecting yourself, your spouse, and God. Adultery brings ruin to many homes; In the end, when all is said and done, was losing your marriage worth it? In a healthy marriage, where Christ takes precedence over everything else, married people reserve each other for each other.
Because everything in the world – the desires of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boast of what he has and does – does not come from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV)