In order for someone to truly embrace life, they will need to be connected to their emotional self. The reason for this is that by having this connection, they will know what they need to do and will be able to connect with others.
Without it, then, they will have a hard time knowing what they need to do in life and will have superficial relationships with others. In other words, their intellect alone will not shed light on what they need to do or allow them to connect deeply with others.
The result
When you are out of touch with your body (emotional self) and your point of awareness is in your head (mental self), you will look to the external world when it comes to what you should be doing with your life. Doing what others suggest may allow you to gain approval, but it will most likely not set your heart on fire.
One way of looking at your emotional self would be to say that it is a receptor that allows you to experience depth and deep connection and thus really take in life. So with this part of them offline, they will only be able to get to a certain level with life and with each other.
The point of no return
Now, after experiencing life in this way for many, many years, one could reach the point where they have had enough. Feeling lost, empty, helpless, disconnected and alone, for example, could be a normal part of your life and this will be excruciating.
What could have given them an added boost is that their work could destroy the soul or that they may not have been able to connect deeply with someone they wanted to connect with. Whatever it is, they won’t be able to move on in the same way.
Deepening
At this point, you could say that you are in a traumatized state and that is why you cannot be in your body and connect with how you feel. What has happened during adulthood arguably has played a role.
But, it is much more likely that what happened when they were growing up had the greatest effect. Following this point of view, this was the stage of their life in which they separated from their body.
Much to bear
This could have been a time when they were abused and / or neglected on a regular basis. If this happened, it would have meant that they would have often felt overwhelmed, and leaving their body would have been a way to handle all the arousal.
They would not have been able to defend themselves or flee and put an end to what was happening; freezing and leaving her body was her only option. In time, living “up” would have been his default position.
From adaptive to maladaptive
So even though living on the surface of themselves is causing problems for them now that they are adults, there would have been a time when living in their own way kept them alive. What happened would have shaped his brain and nervous system.
Because of this, one will not be able to change his life simply by changing his thoughts and behavior. To use an analogy: since it will be your hardware that is faulty, simply concentrating on your software will not be enough.
Much more than that
To take a step back, what if what happened during your early years wasn’t the cause? What if what they are as adults goes back even further, when they were in their mother’s womb?
If this is so, it would mean that what happened during their childhood was a continuation of the previous trauma and something that further strengthened what they had already been through. Or, this could explain why one’s childhood was fine, assuming it was, but they are emotionally disconnected.
Back
His mother’s womb would have been his first environment and this environment would have shaped his developing brain and nervous system. With this in mind, if this stage of your life was not very nurturing and harmonious, it would have negatively impacted you.
There may be a variety of reasons why this period in your life was traumatizing but regardless of why this was the case, this would have been a time in your life that was incredibly painful and perhaps your “heart broken” (this being the reason why they may have been born with heart problems and / or experienced them later in life). To handle what was happening, there would have been a division that took place, causing them to be a divided being long before they were born.
A repeat
What this trauma would have done in the womb is prevent them from feeling connected to their mother and bonding with her. How they feel as adults will be a continuation of how they felt in their mother’s womb.
Here, they may have felt disconnected, alone, fearful, terrified, helpless, and at least emotionally, they may have died while there. To say that this stage of his life was brutal would be an understatement.
A slow process
By the time they entered their second environment, the world, they would have been in a deeply traumatized and disconnected state. The problem is that being burdened with so much trauma and emotional pain, as long as you get in touch with how you feel, it will be extremely painful and therefore being in a detached and indifferent state will be an important defensive position.
As a result of this, it will not be possible for you to simply return to your body and connect with your true self. If this is rushed and one tries to use their willpower to do so, they are likely to be rhetrumatized and expelled from their body.
Conscience
If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you will probably need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.
Lastly, it will be important for one to be compassionate to themselves, as they did not choose to be that way and will have suffered enough already. Facing and treating your first wounds will require immense courage, and at this point it shows that you have incredible inner strength.