It was and still is a common belief that if you “save the rod” you will spoil the child. In many parts of the world, corporal punishment is still used as the main method of discipline. Yet why do we persist in continuing such an archaic and barbaric practice? Because much of parenting tends to be adopted through an “inheritance” approach – that’s how my parents raised me.
However, if more parents knew about the true dangers of this practice, I’m sure fewer parents would continue to persist with this method of discipline.
Why is corporal punishment so harmful to a child?
Corporal punishment causes stress in a child that is not unlike the stress a child experiences when he or she is bullied or when that child experiences child abuse. Brain scans show structural and biochemical changes that affect social behavior.
Cell death in the anterior cingulate gyrus affects the child’s ability to temper fear and empathize. Changes in pathways in the brain affect a child’s ability to handle stress and make them more likely to be impulsive, aggressive, and/or anxious. Long-term changes in the adrenaline systems in the brain affect the ability to think clearly. Deterioration in the brainstem has been linked to ADHD, depression, and inattention. It also leads to more aggression and irritability.
Other changes in the brain have also been observed:
- decrease in the size of the corpus callosum causing manic swings in moods
- shrinking of the amygdala and hippocampus, resulting in depression, irritability, and hostility; and poor memory function
- effects on the GABA system that make a child feel insecure and constantly live in a state of alarm
Violent methods of discipline have also been linked to children with antisocial behavior and a higher prevalence of psychiatric disorders, while nonviolent methods of discipline are linked to higher cognitive function.
A common argument in favor of the corporal punishment camp often goes like this: “I was spanked as a child and I came out fine.”
A couple of other arguments follow from this point as well. First, what is good? Could it be that if we weren’t beaten we could have deeper and more meaningful friendships? Better relationships? Lasting marriages? Do you feel less depressed? perform better at work? Do you have a better perspective and attitude towards life?
Second, it was researched and found that children who were beaten by misguided but well-meaning parents may later reach well-adjusted adulthood due to the love, nurturing, and appropriate limit-setting they also received from their parents, not because of the physical violence they received.
Jordan Riak of Nospank.net cites an excellent example that aptly articulates the fallacy of this belief:
Let’s test the argument that it all worked out for the best by examining some real-life examples from my own childhood. See if they apply to you.
- There were ashtrays in every room in our house. My parents smoked, as did most of the adult visitors to our home. The aroma of cigar, cigar and pipe smoke was always present. Nobody cares. In fact, not a day went by in my early life that I was not exposed to tobacco smoke. I was even exposed in the womb because my mother smoked when she was pregnant with me. and it went well.
- The first family car I remember was a 1937 Chevrolet sedan. It didn’t have seat belts. When we were traveling, I was simply dropped into the back seat with the expectation that gravity would keep me there. Did. and it went well.
- Every place I lived in as a child was painted with lead-based paint. and it went well.
- I used a bicycle during my childhood and adolescence, but I never used any type of head protection. and it went well.
Was my family wise or just lucky? Today, we no longer do those things. We do not take such risks and we do not expose our children to such risks, not if we know the facts.
Quite possibly, one of the uncomfortable notions about attacking corporal punishment is that many of us were beaten at some point as children. The idea that our parents did something wrong against us can be quite uncomfortable to face. That said, I’m not saying that our parents had bad intentions towards us. They did what they felt was right at the time because they were unaware of possible side effects. All of the examples listed by Riak above are other ways our parents did “wrong” against us, but they were accepted practices in their day.
I could name a few more…
As a child, I was treated by dentists who never wore gloves. Today, would you attend dental surgery if you knew they didn’t wear gloves? I really doubt it.
As a child, my mother weaned me because that was the recommended practice of the day. These days, many health professionals wouldn’t dream of dissuading a mother from breastfeeding her baby. In fact, it is highly recommended as the best form of nutrition.
The effectiveness of corporal punishment
It could be argued that corporal punishment is effective in getting the message across to a child that they did something wrong and that nothing else works as well. Longitudinal studies have shown the opposite to be true. In fact, studies have found that schools that had the highest rates of corporal punishment also had the lowest graduation rates, the highest rates of teen pregnancy, the highest rates of incarceration, and the highest rates of murder.
Studies also show a positive correlation between the severity of corporal punishment received and the severity of crimes committed. For example, 100% of violent inmates at San Quentin had a history of extreme physical punishment as children, while most professionals experienced moderate to no physical punishment as children.
You’ll also find that adults who were spanked as children can rarely articulate how it helped them, even though they believe it “didn’t hurt.” Let’s be honest, if you got beat up by a child and behaved after that, why did you behave? Was it because you knew it was wrong? Because you were afraid of being hit again? Or because you didn’t want to disappoint your parents?
What exactly are the lessons learned from being hit? It often leads to bullying and the acceptance that it is okay to hit others. What happened to the moral of the story? Your child may behave in front of you, but how does he behave when your back is turned? Discipline should be about raising morally conscious children with a social conscience, and not creating fear-inspired behavior in a child that doesn’t last once the child is out of sight.
There are other ways to discipline
It seems to be a misconception that parents who choose not to use corporal punishment as a form of discipline are often perceived as neglectful parents who let their children run wild. Refusing to hit a child in the name of discipline is supposed to be equivalent to refusing to discipline a child. That is an extremely narrow view of discipline, because the root of the word discipline means “to teach.”
There are better ways to teach a child how to behave than to hit him. These methods are generally more time consuming and also require more effort. Let’s face it: It’s definitely a lot easier to just yell at your child or hit them for misbehaving. It doesn’t require a lot of thought and the action alone will help you get rid of the anger buttons your child has just pushed.
In light of the fact that corporal punishment is not only harmful to a child, but also an extremely ineffective method of discipline, shouldn’t we as parents strive to find more effective and beneficial discipline methods for our children? I think so.