Should boys play with toy guns and girls play with dolls? Or, to put it another way, should boys play with dolls and girls with toy guns? There is a lot of debate on the subject of toys and gender stereotypes, with people very divided on one side or the other. There’s certainly no escaping the fact that no matter where you look, items associated with boys will generally have images of football, the military, or superheroes, with copious amounts of blue to emphasize the fact that this is all for boys, while girls’ sections will be adorned with glamorous icons, fairies and flowers, painted pink where possible.
But is this correct? Do children tend to be attracted to these colors and images because society tells them to from the day they are born, or do they have naturally different tendencies that are so deeply ingrained and established that our social and cultural stereotypes are, in fact, nothing more? than an outward reflection of that understanding?
Certainly it is very difficult to answer the question with any degree of certainty, and there is much debate and much evidence on both sides to suggest that each is valid. However, there is perhaps a more important point to raise, and that is this: should boys be allowed to like pink things, play with dolls and drink tea, while girls should be allowed to wear pink? blue, kick a soccer ball and pretend to shoot your friends in an imaginary battle?
Anyone who has or has had children will be aware that children play with their surroundings, and from an early age their curiosity will open up to what is within their reach. The fact that blue toys are generally purchased if it’s a boy and pink if a girl will simply mean that as they get older they’ll tend to associate those colors and styles as representative of their ownership, but if it’s a mix of toys available then They won’t be any more careful about color than if the toy in question is your expensive mobile phone or toilet brush. Anything that is close at hand becomes a toy in the hands of a baby.
My little boy has often played tea parties with his various teddy bears, and the beautiful multicultural scene of a little boy sharing his tea with a bear, a donkey, a sheep, a creature from outer space and a giraffe strikes me as perfectly harmless. He will later probably use one of them to hit a dog or to stand up to reach something he is not allowed to. He is not yet old enough to understand what a gun is or to have been given one as a toy. But even now, I feel a slight anxiety about whether he would actually buy her a gun or let her be attracted to one.
As a child, he had a cowboy outfit, several pellet guns, and a large box of toy soldiers. My sister had endless toy dolls that did everything from closing their eyes to wet diapers, and each of us seemed content with our own toys, and neither of us had much interest in the others. And yet I can think of no good reason why not. The social skills she practiced are as relevant to me today as the desire to survive is relevant to her.
Perhaps the solution is to let the child get to the toys, instead of forcing them, but to let the child have the freedom to choose the ones that seem right. Where this feeling will come from is another matter, and certainly a television diet will do little to eradicate any social stereotypes that may exist.