So, they’ve convinced you. Carve a pumpkin, they say. It will be fun, they say.
Well, sometimes. Sometimes not. Why do you ask. I’ll tell you.
First, there is the selection of the perfect pumpkin to carve. This is usually a group effort.
Even looking at pumpkins in odd ways is a mistake. Large, perfectly round pumpkins make the best carved pumpkins. The oddly shaped ones make you laugh. Choose a pumpkin that resembles Charlie Brown’s head. That is, if the group effort of choosing a pumpkin hasn’t turned into a group fight over it, where everyone gets mad and goes home with no pumpkins because no one could agree on one.
Now, if you’re lucky, you have your perfect pumpkin.
Then comes the mess. You have never seen such a mess. Except for the moment the dog, it does not matter. Cleaning is not fun. Speaking of the dog, newspapers come in handy for carving a pumpkin.
As you carve the pumpkin, remember these things.
Don’t do it while drinking alcohol. Pumpkins, knives, and alcohol don’t mix, unless you’re making a mighty cake. Even then, be very careful. The hospital workers will not sympathize with your story.
Pumpkin carving can take some time. Be patient. If kids and dogs make you nervous while doing it, just take a break. Take an aspirin too. It can help.
Always draw the face of the design on the pumpkin before carving it. If you don’t do this, you may not recognize it as a pumpkin when you’re done.
Then you have to start all over again. That can be expensive. It can also make you curse.
Even if it’s Halloween and there are curses, you shouldn’t say those things in front of the kids or the dog.
When you’re done, place the pumpkin in an area where it won’t be kicked, trampled, or dropped. That can hurt and with lawsuits rampant these days, you never know.
Finally, if someone you know asks you to carve a pumpkin for them to wear on their head, please check their background right away, unless they own a horse and plan on doing a live performance of Sleepy Hollow.
brrr
Happy Halloween!