You just met the boy/girl of your dreams. Too bad your partner is not him/her. What are you supposed to do? You want to be honest, but at the same time be kind. Fortunately, I’ve come up with a system that anyone can use to part the right way.
Step 1: Admit to yourself that you don’t feel very much for the person.
This is an important step because sometimes people convince themselves that they really love someone out of sympathy or pity. Realize how much or how little you care about the person, and be honest with yourself and the person.
Step 2: Contact the person and set up a time and place to talk.
This type of thing should not be done over the phone, especially if it is a long-term relationship. You may think it’s easier for both of you to do it this way, but it will only lead to resentment and potential problems down the road. Have the courage to face them directly. It’s the least you can do. Also, choose a place that is quiet. If you break up with someone at the club, they’ll just get confused and probably won’t listen to what you’re saying.
Step 3: When you meet him/her, do not give him/her any type of affection. They need to know that this is serious and that you don’t want to reciprocate any romantic feelings.
Step 4: Look them in the eye and explain why you can’t be with them. Be brief but also empathetic when waiting for a response.
Step 5: Stand firm in your action and do not change your mind or feeling, especially at that time. You don’t want them to get mixed signals and think there might be a chance of reconciliation.
Step 6: Don’t ask them to be friends. He/She is your Ex. Exes should stay Ex for at least a couple of years. If you really miss that person, then a couple of months. There has to be a grace period of no contact so he/she can move on and so can you. It doesn’t matter if he/she is humiliating himself and begging you to take them back. If you really don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings, you can’t be bland. Keep your posture.
Step 7: Tell them you’re sorry and be as honest as possible.
Step 8: Tell them that you don’t want any contact for a while and that you wish them well.
Article written by: Rosemary Jasmine Rivera