The holidays are meant to be relaxing, and while there’s nothing more relaxing than sitting on a white sand beach with an icy pink adult drink laden with paper umbrellas, you know, the kind of drink you wouldn’t be surprised by ordering at a Pub. An additional “relaxation” option offered by some trips is the possibility of a micro-relationship right there at the hotel. Before everyone jumps in with the hate mail, think about it: short relationships with minimal commitment and superficial emotional involvement may be good for you. As long as both parties understand the rules of the game, there should be no hurt feelings or hurt egos. Sometimes it can be therapeutic to spend time with someone you are not attached to.
The problem here, which I cannot stress enough, is that everyone involved in this adventure in the sun must be fully aware that it is going to last exactly as long as their vacation. Don’t fool people and certainly don’t put anyone (including yourself) in a position where the vacation turns into an epic love poem miserably truncated at the end of your time in the Bahamas. A vacation romance is no different than a one-night stand, which is also fine as long as both parties know that it is a one-night stand.
If you live in Chicago and she lives in Albuquerque, and you are both consenting adults with enough intelligence to realize that a long-term relationship that began in Waikiki will be difficult to maintain, and if you are both aware of all this and still so you want to be together, do it. There is nothing wrong with a vacation adventure. Depending on the type of person you are, it could be an opportunity to meet someone you would not normally consider dating. Or the chance to just laugh and play in the waves and retreat to your palmy bungalow long before the sun goes down. Who knows? Maybe you just feel the need to do something wild and unapologetic: I’m Jack’s pointless relationship.
Do not automatically assume … that such relationships are bad, mean, harmful or dangerous, or that they cannot work. None of this is true. The reason “meaningless relationships” get such a bad rap is that they are almost never meaningless. People tacitly accept something they don’t want or harbor feelings they don’t share. Sometimes it is a simple lack of communication. But when you are on a trip and you see that beautiful woman in a bikini and wrap saree standing ankle length in crystal blue water, only do so if two things are true:
1) that you have no intention of hosting long-term heartbreak once the fun is over and you’ve gone home, and
2) that you are willing to live with the possible consequences associated with truly missing her. Hopefully, she, in turn, will only get involved if the same is true for her.