This is the most difficult article I have ever written and I have no idea how I am going to narrate this most painful experience of my life without shedding a tear. When I suddenly lost my mother to a heart attack in 2005, I felt that I couldn’t go on with my life. It happened so unexpectedly. I couldn’t apologize for all the pain I caused her. I didn’t get to say “I love you”. for the first time because we are not ostentatious with our emotions. I couldn’t hug her before she died. There is no warning; at least her family could have spent quality time together before she died to make her feel like we all loved her.
That painful day in January 2005, just four days after my Mother’s birthday, the Lord took my Mother. It was the day when the meaning of misery was too intense and too surreal at the same time. I felt so desperate and so angry that this has happened to our family. I cried with all my heart and refuse to accept that he is gone forever. I just wasn’t ready to experience my worst nightmare come true.
Now that I am the mother of a 6-month-old baby, I realize even more how good my mother was to us when she was still alive. She was very responsible. She is a very strong woman and she never gave up in times of adversity. She always encourages us to stand firm against adversaries and never forget to turn to God for help. She has many great ambitions for all of her children and it is sad that she never sees the moment that she has fulfilled one by one.
It’s weird, but I’m sure my mom is here with me. When she was in the delivery room for the birth of my son, she kept calling her name in my mind. Do you hear my thoughts? I don’t know but she helps me find strength and courage.
Until now, there is simply no cure for the craving, especially when I am inactive. As of this moment, I still hope in a very strange way for him to come back. I would tell myself that he went on a very, very long vacation and that one day he will come home. Even in my dreams, she is still alive and we do activities together. And so I try to convince myself that there is life after death.
I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. Since childhood, my religion teacher, a nun, has constantly told me that when we die, only our physical body disappears, but the spirit lives on and moves on to a different place that most of us would call heaven.
It is unorthodox if you believe in God but don’t believe in life after death.
But what if there really is no such place? What if what is written in the Bible is not taken literally? No one could say for sure.
I once searched the internet about life after death. And I have found many articles on the subject, especially “Proof of Life After Death” by Frederick Myers. Some articles are comforting to know that there are manifestations that it exists. Also, there are stories of people having near-death experiences, but they are not so reliable because they seem to be mere hallucinations, invented by the human brain.
The loss of a family member is a very distressing experience that any of us would not want to go through or even think about.
But would it be wrong to wish not to die so we could spend time with our loved ones forever?
However, if we are immortal, would it be evil?
But then we are not masters of our life because if we do, we can control it so as not to die. God controls everything. Whether you are rich or poor, if God says that your time in this world is over, we cannot refuse or ask for extensions. It is difficult to explain the will of God because He does not think like a human being. He is omniscient and our personal knowledge would not be enough to understand the true meaning of his Divine Plan.