The parent-child relationship is very important in many ways, not least because of the impact modeling has on us as individuals.
As children, the strongest influence anyone can have on us is our parents. As parents, this happens regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. This influence can have far-reaching effects that can be positive or negative. We are at a time in the world where many changes are taking place. One of these changes is the difference in roles that men are assuming. This is where the father their relationship comes to the fore.
However, let’s not fool ourselves, as there is still a big difference between the supposed changes and the reality of the situation. Any survey that is conducted clearly indicates that the roles are heavily skewed to the detriment of women.
For any substantive and significant change underway to take hold, it is paramount that parents model equality between men and women for their children. This can only happen when children see their fathers sharing all domestic and child-rearing responsibilities with their mothers, without distinction.
This means that when parents engage in any of these activities, children can see, it is not being generous or magnanimous, nor is it classified as helping, but as part of the obligations associated with healthy functioning, marriages, or relations.
It will mean that both sons and daughters will be influenced by this demonstration. It will follow that boys and girls will make no distinction in terms of the tasks that children are expected to share in running any household. For example, doing the dishes will not be seen as something that only girls should do.
As can be seen from this example, the father’s relationship can have far-reaching consequences that can be seen in any nuclear family when the father is involved in the family to this extent.
Actually, it is so simple and the benefits are immense for everyone, but we still have a long way to go.
Another result of this modeling in the father-son relationship is that sons are shown how to respect women. They learn to relate to them as equals and it shows in the way they relate to them.
In this context, the sounds see their fathers communicating with their mothers. They watch them listening and empathizing. They see their parents relaxing, having fun and enjoying being together.
In this type of demonstration of the father-son relationship, the children are recognized and loved, and this is expressed verbally and physically through the embrace.
The continuing consequence of this is that children naturally continue in the same way as they go through the stages of life. They duplicate their father’s behavior in their relationships and in their role as parents.
Let’s not underestimate the compelling nature of the modeling involved in this type of father-son relationship.
This replication is so powerful that when done on a large scale it has the ability to change the world.
That may seem like an overly ambitious or grandiose plan to reform the world, but a snowball effect can be the consequence of a good father-son relationship.
An example of this is that all over the world it is now perfectly acceptable and natural for men to hug each other. This happens now in any context, an example is in big macho tough guy sports. There are times when you see each player hug all of his teammates before they go out to play a game. And of course there are the celebratory hugs that come naturally when they score or win a game.
As little as thirty years ago, this would never have happened, and even lightly touching another man would raise questions about his masculinity or sexual orientation. There are no such queries, ever, today. It’s easy to forget that things used to be different. For younger people, they would not even be aware that there has been this change.
I look forward to the day when changes take place all over the world, which are the result of the multiplication of the good father-son relationship, and people can’t even remember when things were different.