There is good news and some bad news when someone is looking to start saving a marriage after infidelity.
It’s that no matter how screwed up the relationship is, it can be fixed, if you want it bad enough.
If there has been forgiveness during the recovery from the affair and both husband and wife are fully committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work, then things can get better after an affair.
Both parties must understand and accept that it will take time and work, and that they must be fully mature to confess some of their own inconveniences.
As you read, keep in mind that the Course in Miracles teaches: “Healing is a sign that you want to be whole. And this willingness opens your ears to the Voice of the Holy Spirit, whose message is wholeness.”
If you’re both in that place and really want the recovery from the affair to be positive, you have an excellent chance of working things out.
Are there overwhelming problems on the way?
The problem with saving a marriage after infidelity is that if the issues are too overwhelming and/or both of you aren’t willing to do the work and discover healing options, the chances of repairing a relationship after infidelity diminish.
– It’s not impossible at this point, but it will be much more difficult.
The first step would be to honestly assess where you and your partner are from time to time and exactly where you’re headed.
If you both have the right mindset and are mature enough to face the worries and stand your ground long enough, do something tough. searching for souls and determine.
You will need to seriously consider whether you should seek help and healing through marital therapy or some form of relationship counseling.
If so, – Continue to the next step.
If not, ask yourself why you want to save a marriage after infidelity. There are often times when there is no hope of even beginning to fix a broken relationship.
It can be extremely easy to fall into the trap of becoming a doormat if your goal is to start building trust after infidelity without the help of your spouse.
I mean that if the spouse feels that the pain is so terribly difficult to deal with, they will not work with you to begin recovery from the affair.
They could almost certainly also try to sabotage all the hard work you’re trying to do to rebuild trust after infidelity.
What are the problems?
In prior discussion I explored infidelity in marriage and how to survive an affair: Is leaving a relationship the answer, or should you stay?
The next step would be to find out what other issues and problems the two of you are facing, and exactly what action steps to take to even start saving a marriage after infidelity.
– Does it seem that both of you have simply drifted too far?
– Do you have children now and find it more difficult to really connect with each other?
When you recognize what your problems really are, then you have a much better chance of handling them effectively and staying married after infidelity.
– Don’t let life and all its stress and anxiety try to come between you.
This is usually not the real problem most of the time, anyway, and it works well as an excuse for bad habits.
– Determine the genuine problems and then help out on how to survive infidelity.
Finding someone to help you in healing, instructing and guiding you, helping you figure it all out, can often be a miracle.
Finding a marital therapist or counselor can help.
At the very least, a therapist can function as a kind of referee so that the two of you don’t get too upset and start arguing out of control and saying things you’ll later regret.
– If the fight continues, – Nothing will ever be resolved.
– You can’t fix anything until you figure out exactly what’s broken.
There is no difference between a broken relationship and a worn transmission in your car, meaning if you don’t identify what the problem is, you can’t repair and rebuild your relationship after cheating.
Sometimes there is not enough willingness and willingness to rebuild trust after infidelity to give a reason enough to save a relationship.
If you don’t diagnose exactly what the problem is, you can’t even begin to save a post-infidelity marriage.
(I also suggest searching the web for more helpful content on the idea of getting back together with your ex and safe ways to rekindle a relationship, if you feel that in your heart.)