It takes courage to be vulnerable, especially in the workplace! It can be very difficult and stressful to be “seen” by others when faced with challenging problems. By exposing ourselves to others to express our opinion, we open ourselves to possible ridicule. HOWEVER, more importantly, it can open the door to innovation and the willingness to see situations differently.
The question then is when is it appropriate to show our vulnerability? Every situation is different, making it difficult to define best practices when it comes to potentially difficult conversations with coworkers, bosses, and other stakeholders. Hopefully the work environment is such that there is psychological security, trust and integrity. Without these three elements, in addition to both parties having high emotional intelligence, these interactions could be highly conflictual to the point that relationships are irreparable and the workplace becomes toxic.
To protect yourself against this, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Some see this as a waste of time because they feel that the other person will not give in, is needy or complaining, or always has to win. Stick to the facts when you analyze the situation and determine what is the best outcome you could hope for. You should also set limits for yourself and also consider those of the other person. In other words, take the time to make a plan like you would if it were a project. Anticipate what the sunk cost would be if this does not come to a successful conclusion, as well as what safeguards can be put in place so that both parties respect each other.
Another thing to keep in mind is: do we put ourselves in situations where we are more vulnerable than on other occasions? Naturally, this can happen when we meet or introduce ourselves to the senior leaders of the company, but we also have to identify the people who bully us for a variety of reasons. Why does our confidence drop when we interact with these people? What traits do they possess that make us feel insecure? Are they really doing something different than how others behave or do we just perceive them in a different way?
There are definitely pros and cons to being vulnerable, but we all have different levels of tolerance. What we need to consider is not just how we feel, but how we project our thoughts onto others and, in turn, make them feel vulnerable. This is just another part of our professional journey, as we cannot have a meaningful connection with someone if one or both of us feel we have reached a dead end.