It is said that only the truly faithful have the courage to question their faith. I hope that makes me a believer.
This is an account of a personal experience that occurred at a young age and I am writing about this primarily for those of you who, like me, are looking for answers.
At the age of six I developed a severe bronchial disease, which caused me serious breathing difficulties. I spent a lot of time in bed and my doctor didn’t know how to treat my condition. It was on a spring day that year that I first encountered what we now call an out-of-body state. I felt pulled out of my body and transported to a place that I would now describe as an informal courtroom. There were people sitting across from me and I was accompanied by what I can only describe as an older, more informed version of myself. I can clearly remember the questions that my other self was asked and the argument that was presented in return. Our interrogators asked if it was wise to continue my existence although they did not use that specific terminology. They suggested that it would be easier to start over and how easily I could enter a new body. The other me felt strongly that there was much to learn from my current life and that I should not dismiss it so easily. The court gave him the benefit of the doubt but they were not convinced that his decision was for the best. I returned to my body with a complete memory of the experience. Life went on until my condition worsened as I approached my seventh birthday, at which point I was taken out of my body again.
The place I was in now resembled an old high court and I was amazed at the austere atmosphere. I was alone this time but, for my age, I understood what was at stake. My interrogators wore formal robes and appeared to be eminent bodies with a serious but kind demeanor. They were sitting on a high level and I remember feeling very small and nervous. The circumstances were ceremonial compared to the first instance and this seemed to be a point of reckoning. I was offered one last chance to accept that it would be wise to give up this life for a better one. I was under no illusion that if I chose not to, I would remain in my current form for better or worse. I was informed that my decision had to be made immediately as there was a time limit involved. After thinking about it, I realized that I was passionate about preserving my current life, and therefore I declined his offer. After this decision, I returned to my body once more, but this time I instinctively knew what I had to do to overcome my illness.
On my return I called my mother and asked her to bring me a small family bible and an equally small icon. They had both been with the family for many years. Although I was not religiously inclined I knew I had to put my complete faith in what these two articles represented. My belief needed to be absolute. I put them under my pillow and for the first time in a long time I slept soundly. From that moment my health began to improve dramatically. I suffered three more attacks over the next few years, but my strength grew at a rate and it wasn’t long before my build became quite robust. Fortunately, I remain that way to this day. I continue to experience out-of-body states periodically and the insight is, to say the least, illuminating.
To my daughter Gina, and in memory of my father Milan.