At a recent writing workshop, I asked students to name their biggest writing problems. Unsurprisingly, some said that his writing suffers from excessive verbiage.
When I am editing the work of others, there are five simple things I look for that, when removed, make an immediate difference. The next time you write a press release, brochure, email, etc., take a moment to see if you can identify and eliminate any of these issues.
1. Prepositions. Due to their binding nature, connecting nouns, pronouns, and phrases to other words in a sentence, prepositions tend to carry additional words and are also a red flag for the introduction of a two- or three-word phrase that includes another noun or actor. I’m certainly not suggesting that you write without using prepositions; just make sure that every time you see one, you consider whether you can make your point more succinctly. (You can find an exhaustive list of prepositions on Wikipedia.org).
2. Go to… The expression “going to” automatically adds unnecessary words to your sentence that can be removed simply by replacing “going to” with the expression “will”. Example: Instead of “We will focus on” or “We will focus on …”, try: “We will focus on …”
3. Help. Many writers insert the word “help” before the key active verb in their sentence, such as: “We are working to help raise awareness …” or “Our solution is helping to provide additional benefits.” But by removing the “help”, you remove the ambiguity and make a stronger statement. Try: “WE ARE CREATING awareness.” However, “Our solution IS PROVIDING additional benefits.”
Four. That. “That” may be the most unnecessarily used word in the English language. In The Careful Writer, Theodore M. Bernstein devotes nearly five pages to an explanation of when “it” should or should not be used. On the contrary, to the dismay of grammarians everywhere, my advice here is simple: read the sentence out loud without using the word “it” and if it still makes perfect sense, leave it out.
5. Forms of the verb “to be”. Words like am, is, are, was, were, being, and been simply imply a state of existence. There is no action. There is nothing that can be seen, heard, felt, smelled or tasted in the mind’s eye. Every time you see these verb forms, it is a red flag that the “actor” in your sentence is vague. Essentially it is simply “sitting there”. Get off the couch and DO something!
ADDITIONAL ADVICE: One of the places he likes to hide the verb is in the front half of sentences. Be on the lookout for long introductory clauses that act like a story unfolding to its main point. Readers will thank you for getting to your point quickly and then providing any follow-up or prior information later.
Copyright Bon Mot Communications LLC 2009