Some disturbing observations gleaned from the internet to amuse, disconcert, and confuse. Based on a recent search on my part, I came across some interesting finds. The search focused on adjustable beds and sex. You wonder why I am looking for sex and adjustable beds. Because I can! Also, out of curiosity, I wanted to see for myself if sex in an adjustable bed is better, as good or worse than sex in a normal bed. To my surprise, there is practically nothing written on the subject.
Could it be that sex and adjustable beds don’t mix … hardly … no pun intended? I only got about a million hits on Google for the “adjustable bed + sex” combination. A Yahoo search returned even weaker results. Out of total visits, find any information other than the odd promotional blurb from an anonymous manufacturer or two touting a snippet of “better sex” in the middle of an ad. Here’s an example of a very racy ad “It’s an investment in good sleep, good rest, good health, and good sex!” Hardly an endorsement that you can take to the bank … or should I say, bedroom.
Based on a world population of billions and an Internet community of hundreds of millions, I must admit I was a bit surprised by the meager results. I was hoping to see research results from leading medical institutions providing the most up-to-date statistical data on the pros and cons of physical sexual interaction on a mobile platform. So I was going to proudly present those findings to the world and confidently proclaim … “Sex on an adjustable bed is better than sex on a regular flatbed!” I’d get the Kinsey award for sex research! I could see the sale of adjustable beds and matching satin sheets and pillows skyrocketing! Ay, poor moi, it wasn’t like that.
There may be some secret association of adjustable bed owners who have taken a blood oath never to reveal the true happiness that comes from having sex on an electric adjustable bed. It is the ultimate conspiracy, propagated by elitists to deny access to information to the rest of us. Obviously, Google and Yahoo play a huge role in this cover-up. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the major search engines blacklisted me for discovering these disturbing findings.
Sorry, I got a little carried away … well, quite a bit actually. Actually, I guess good sex is just good sex, regardless of where it takes place. An adjustable bed can add some variety, depending on position, and I’m sure it can help some people with certain physical conditions feel more comfortable during sex, but it’s still just a bed, not a sex toy, unfortunately. . .unless, of course, you want to make it one. Good luck.