Is the grass on the other side really greener?
When I look at today’s marriage statistics and over 60% of marriages end in divorce, I often wonder what was the nail that sealed the coffin in that relationship.
Most of the time it is 80/20.
What the hell is 80/20? Originally, the 80/20 rule was founded by an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto, who observed that 80% of income in Italy was received by 20% of the Italian population. The assumption is that most outcomes in any situation are determined by a small number of causes.
Bishop TD Jakes has another idea about 80/20:
“Nothing in life is 100% … If what you have gives you 80%, thank God for that … Many people are not grateful for the 80s, then the 20 starts to look bigger than the 80 They will leave 80 for 20. They will change jobs for 20. They will leave their wives or husbands for 20. They will leave their church for 20. They will do this when they are the 80 that God wants them to have. “
For a long time I struggled with what was wrong with the “other” person, when I was actually looking at the “20”. If we could stop for a moment and take an inventory of our lives, I’m sure the “80s” would look a lot bigger. Look at your kids, your work, your home, even the clothes you wear. There are times when we get caught up in growing and progressing and we don’t stop and appreciate what comes our way.
So your partner didn’t buy you the right gift for Christmas, so your son didn’t bring home with excellent grades, so your boss didn’t acknowledge the great work you did on that arduous project … and look at the 80!
Think of the widow who has no partner to celebrate Christmas with. Think of the mother whose son just dropped out of school. And think of someone who just got laid off and now can’t find an equivalent job. Do I need to emphasize the 80s?
Dare I say that not looking at “20” is an easy task? No! It’s hard, but you have to want to see the “80” versus the “20”. It all starts in your mind. It is unfortunate that society gloats and thrives on “20”. Turn on any news program and you will find more bad stories than good ones.
Change your routine. Get started today and reprogram your mind to see the big picture. See the “80s” and know that you are blessed and favored.
Now when I look at situations that arise, I tend to feel like the 80/20 rule pulls awareness out of my mind.
This is not because I have it in a science or formula, but because I remember that I would rather be at 80 than 0.