We often have to ask ourselves, does he/she really love me? Is he really in love with me? Am I in love with him/her? I really love him? These are questions of the heart and only you know the answer. However, there are indicators to help us understand the answer to our being in love question and to know when someone is in love with us.
When there is a question, there is undoubtedly an answer. It may not be the answer we’re looking for, but there is an answer. The key to receiving the answer is being able to accept the truth. Sometimes we don’t want to know the truth because it hurts. It hurts because we want things our way, just as we dream of them. Unfortunately, life can’t always be the dream we want it to be. Sometimes, maybe most of the time for most of us, life is not the dream we want at all, or anything like it. It is important to understand that love does not love anyone, it only loves love. That’s why it’s so easy to fall in love and so hard to stay in love. love is! And that’s it. The Bible says that there is no greater love than this, that one lay down his life for his friend (John chapter 15 verse 13). If this is an indicator that someone is in love, then we must be able to answer the question, “Would I die for him/her?” and “Would he/she die for me?”
Often in relationships, people refuse to embrace the truth of who they are and therefore cannot understand themselves well enough to answer questions about love. For example, I have often asked someone I was very interested in this question: “What didn’t you know about the person you just broke up with that you learned later in the relationship?” If a person is really honest about this, they would say exactly what she learned along the way that she didn’t know at the beginning of the relationship. Often, it’s these things we find out later about a person that make us change our minds about being with them. The answer I usually get is, “I can’t answer that question.” or “Do I have to think about that?” This indicates that there is nothing that they did not know from the beginning. The next question I usually ask is even more provocative and to the point: “Did you pay attention to what you knew about the person or did you think you could or would change them later in the relationship?” The answer to this is always, “I thought things would change.” The point here is that if you are honest with yourself and with your crush, and really pay attention to who you are and what you do for a living, you won’t allow yourself to get into relationships where you have to change something about someone or wait for them to change something. of themselves. This goes back to that old cliche “Be true to yourself”. This does not mean that people do not change, but rather that the change must be for the better, not for the worse.
You see, answering the above questions honestly will give you the power to accept the truth about yourself. When you know the truth about yourself, it will allow you to treat others more honestly and truthfully as well. Now here’s the poignant part, can you ask someone you’re in love with this question and accept their answer? When you decide you’re in love with someone, does that mean that person must be in love with you? If so, then you are not really in love, you need a hug. You can’t force anyone to fall in love with you. This is what makes many marriages fail, people try to force themselves to be in love and that ends up destroying the relationship. Being in love is something that must be voluntary. Some of the books on the subject of relationships and finding someone to fall in love with and making them fall in love with you are nothing more than a cookbook for a bad relationship. The famous game of love is just that, a game. You must take note, that as in all games, there are winners and losers. However, you must also know that “Love” is not a game, it is a lifestyle and you must be able to commit to that lifestyle as a religion, with your partner, and in the same way your partner must be able to commit. to you in the same way.
There is nothing more than knowing if that man or that woman is in love with you or if you are in love with them. There is no secret, there is no game, there is only the truth. The truth is being willing to die for that person and that person is willing to die for you. In a sense, that’s what marriage is about: “Two people dying as individuals and becoming a new person together. Working together, pulling together, pushing together, and being in love together forever.”
Now, the term “die” does not mean that at some point you will go through that and end your life. God willing, they will both live a long time and be happy together. However, it does mean that when it comes to satisfying each other and making each other happy, you need to let go of your inhibitions (kill your fears and worries) and do whatever it takes to make your partner happy, and likewise, your partner should be able to do the same for you. If there is no reciprocity, then there is no love. Reciprocity does not mean a quid pro quo. In other words, never put yourself in a situation where you will only do what your partner will do for you. This is not Love. Sometimes you will give more than your partner and other times your partner will give more than you. So it will always be. There is no such thing as 50/50 love. Forget that Teddy Pendergrass song from back in the day, it just sounds good. When you find yourself giving more than your partner, just remember, this is the person you are in love with and this person is in love with you. The Bible says that “charity covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter Chapter 4 Verse 8 KJV). The definition of “charity” is: indulgent judgment of others. You must be willing and able to judge leniently the person you are in love with. Be willing to grow with your spouse through communication when mistakes are made. This is an ongoing thing, it never ends as long as you both live.
The Bible explains that the greatest is charity: “And now remain faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 13 KJV).” It also says: “Even though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, as to move mountains, and have no charity, I am nothing. (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 2 KJV )” When you consider what charity brings to a relationship, if you can’t show charity to each other, but everything else is just wonderful, your relationship really is nothing.
Last but not least, a clear indicator that someone has a crush on you is when they can keep other people out of your personal relationship with them. Your friends and family may mean well, but you are not in love with them and apparently they cannot be in love with you as your partner. Otherwise, why do you need to be with your partner? Keep your friends and family, but keep them out of your relationship when it comes to making you and your partner happy. A good biblical scripture for this is Matthew Chapter 6 verses 3 and 4: “But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be in secret, and your Father who sees what secret, he himself will reward you in public.
Not everyone needs to be a mentor or counselor in their relationship with their partner. Learn to keep the most intimate things between you and your partner to yourself. I’m not talking about abusive things, just personal things that should only be between the two of you.
You can tell when someone is in love with you when they are willing to constantly show charity and show disinterest towards you and your needs. This does not mean that you should take kindness for weakness. This would be a big mistake. Often people show charity and love for their partner, but the partner takes it for granted and just starts to ignore the truth of true love. Love just loves love and if love doesn’t get love back, it will soon find another love. This again is a way to be able to die for them and they should reciprocate willing to die for you (die in the sense of putting aside their own selfishness to make you happy and to be able to do the same for them) with joy.